Kumagoro: A Damn Good Replacement
by Urchin Power
Summary: Tatsuha muses on his thoughts on Ryuichi, to make the day better he’s been chosen to baby-sit Kumagoro! Uh-Oh! [TatsuhaxRyuichi]


**_DI:_**_ Greetings! This is DUN DUN DUN Dead Insomniac. May I say this was a really fun fic to write! -shifts eyes- STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT! I'm NOT CRAZY!! *starts being dragged away in a white coat*_

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own._

**_Summary:_**_ Tatsuha muses on his thoughts on Ryuichi, to make the day better he's been chosen to baby-sit Kumagoro! [TatsuhaxRyuichi]_

**_Warning:_**_ TatsuhaxKumagoro   _

Kumagoro: A Damn Good Replacement 

            Tatsuha sat with a big bag of chips and a big bottle of Pepsi to his side. He groggily kept his eyes open while watching the television, even though it was commercials. Today was Thursday, Tatsuha's Official Bumming Day. His doorbell started to ring. He thought for a second. Did he remember to put the sign on the door that says_: Do Not Disturb! On Religious Holiday Today! Need Peace!_

            "TATSUHA-KUN! NA NO KA!!" was the anguished reply from the other side of the door. Immediately the black haired boy sat straight up, ran his fingers vigorously down his hair, and started to brush the chip crumbs from his bumming shirt. 

            "ICHIBYOU!!" Tatsuha yelled back as he ran to the door running his hand one last time in his hair before opening it. 

            "Gomen Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi said sadly, "I didn't know you were on holiday! But I really need someone to take care of Kumagoro while I'm gonna be at the studio!" Ryuichi said placing the little bunny into Tatsuha's hands. 

            "No problem Ryuichi!" Tatsuha said drooling. 

            "Are you sick?" Ryuichi asked childishly placing his hand on Tatsuha's forehead. Tatsuha started to blush furiously as Ryuichi stepped back. "I think you have a bad case of Tapoocoretijihimia!" Ryuichi said covering his mouth as though it was contagious.

            "What?" Tatsuha asked mildly confused.

            "OH NO! NA NO DA! I GOTTA GO NOW OR I"LL BE LATE! I"LL BE RIGHT BACK TO PICK UP KUMAGORO-CHAN! BYE BYE NOW! I SEE YOU LATER!" Ryuichi yelled running down the hallway and continued to yell the rest of the sentence while running down the stairs. At that moment the elevator door opened and out came **Mrs. Oban-sama** who walked to her apartment on the 18th floor where Tatsuha's apartment was. Poor, poor Sakuma-sama.

            "So I guess it's just you and me." Tatsuha said to the little bunny as it stared back at him with the little bunny icon face that looks something like this:

(-:3

Tatsuha sat back down on his bumming couch with the little bunny in his hands. He couldn't help but notice how it smelled so much like Sakuma Ryuichi, his idol, his cult leader, his life, his God.

            Tatsuha went back to bumming as chip crumbs started to collect on himself, and that was a good sign. It seemed harder to concentrate now as Tatsuha noted feeling his Thursday bum feeling leaving him. That was not a good sign. He could feel Kumagoro sitting beside him and staring at him. Things didn't quite feel right.

            "Um. Kumagoro-san? Can you stop looking at me?" Tatsuha asked the little bunny as it continued to smile happily at him. Tatsuha whimpered for a second and realized, hey! It's just a bunny! What am I scared of! Except for the little beady eyes that's glaring at me as though I'm gonna do something bad! He knows all! I THINK HE CAN READ MINDS! STAY BACK! **STAY BACK!**

            Tatsuha is not crazy. He tried to convince himself. It didn't work. He was sure he wasn't sane, I mean insane. It was just too hard to convince himself otherwise! But Kumagoro smelled like Sakuma-sama! And that was good, that was really good. Or was it bad? He didn't know anymore and boy was he confused. He just hoped that Ryuichi would come back soon or else this would turn into some glaring competition. 

            "YOU SMELL LIKE SAKUMA-SAMA-SAMA-SAMA!" Tatsuha said shaking his head briskly every time he yelled, 'Sama'. With another huge yell that sounded like a war cry, Tatsuha started to pull on his hair and it was decided, Kumagoro is a part of Sakuma Ryuichi. Sakuma Ryuichi is his God. He needs his God to live. His God cannot live without Kumagoro. Kumagoro and Sakuma Ryuichi are practically one. Kumagoro now being a part of Sakuma Ryuichi was a good thing. Sakuma Ryuichi was a good thing. Good things are good things. Yes, he was going insane.

            "I LOVE YOU RYUICHI-KUN!" Tatsuha yelled grabbing the bunny and started to hug it really tightly. "TATSUHA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!" He added making Kumagoro slap him over the head with great difficulty. He continued to yell other things about how and why he loved Ryuichi-sama, and let's say that Mrs. Oban-sama was kind of scared and decided to wear ear plugs for the rest of the day. 

            Now back to Tatsuha-kun who continued to somewhat with great difficulty glomp Kumagoro found himself going hard. That was a bad thing. A very bad thing for he stopped yelling crazily and noted how crazy he has become. Indeed, it was a bad thing for the bell rang again, and again, and again making the song hot crossed buns.

            "Uh-Oh." Tatsuha muttered putting Kumagoro gently on the couch. He stood up and ran his fingers vigorously through his hair again. "Go down!" he panted angrily downstairs, AKA his pants. 

            "Oh! The door is open!" Ryuichi said walking in and stopped seeing Tatsuha standing there in front of the couch. Kumagoro was safe, and that was good. However, he didn't know why Tatsuha was panting hardly and was clearly sexually aroused. He tilted his head to show his confusion.

            "Um." Tatsuha started as a nervous grin made it's way to his face. 

            "I forgot to give Kumagoro a snack. Na no da." Ryuichi said holding a box of strawberry pocky. Tatsuha just chuckled nervously in reply. Ryuichi walked over to Kumagoro and started feeding it the pocky. Tatsuha just sat back down on his bumming couch and watched nervously as Ryuichi started to talk to it. "Kumagoro-chan, what have you two been up to?"

(-:3  
  
            That was a good sign. Kumagoro cannot speak English. That means his secret was safe. It was all-good as long as Tatsuha could hold onto his hormones and make sure that he didn't start to glomp Ryuichi instead or perhaps do other things. 

            "What's that?" Ryuichi said his eyes widening. "Tatsuha-kun did what?" Ryuichi said spinning around to see Tatsuha, whose face may I say turned into a very deep shade of red, so he lowered it down in defeat. Stupid bunny. "Why didn't you tell me? So I could join in the fun?" Ryuichi said hands on his hips. Tatsuha looked up to see Ryuichi pouting mildly.

            "Wha?" Tatsuha whimpered, for the next thing he knew he was the one being glomped by Ryuichi-kun.

            This day was really confusing.

**~Owari**

**_DI:_**_ Mrs. Oban-sama! I'm sorry! Those of you who don't know, oban means bitchy old hag! SORRY MRS. OBAN-SAMA!!!   
Oh yea, I almost forgot! I want to say thanks to the reviews for My other fic **Oh NO! Me Oh My!** And I'm going to eat you Faded Nights! GAH! Also special thanks to Shuichi-kun who may I say has motivated me into writing this TatsuhaxRyuichi fic with more of TatsuhaxRyuichi goodness. So you can get an extra cookie. And yes, this is something else written so you and the rest could die laughing again! _

**BOOGABOOGABOOGA!**


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